The end of summer is bittersweet. The long days and the hot weather will stick around for a while, but as we pass the solstice and the days get a little shorter, we can all feel the oncoming approach of the autumn. Fall is leaf-raking time, spooky season, apple season, and, let’s not forget, the beginning of another school year. It’s hard to shift from the lazy days without much to do to the busy bustle of back to school, but it’s also a great opportunity to make a little mid-year resolution: family meal times. 

I'm a pediatrician and a mom of three, so I know firsthand the balancing act of juggling work, school, family time, and how the reliable cadence of family meals can give way to summer’s unstructured fun. But that’s no reason to ignore the benefits of gathering around the table – they go way beyond just putting food in our bellies. 

As a pediatrician, I see the mental and physical benefits kids get from family meals, and the evidence supports this: Studies show that children who regularly eat with their families do better in school, eat healthier, and have stronger emotional bonds with their parents. 

As if that weren’t enough, family meal times also make for easy, reliable, enriching quality time with the most important people in our world. 

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As a pediatrician, I love seeing research that backs up what we've known (or suspected) for years. Family meals are more than just a nice tradition: they're a boatload of benefits for kids & parents alike.

First off: school. A study from Harvard found that family meals can boost academic performance. It's not just the food, either, but the conversations that happen around the table. The science tells us what we already knew: that discussions around the table improve vocabularies and broaden minds. It’s not just the kids who benefit, either. How often has your kid come from school with facts about eels or walruses that you didn’t even know?  

The benefits don't stop at report cards. Family meals are also great for mental health – & not just for kids. A recent survey found that 91% of parents said their family is less stressed when they eat together. As a mom, I can definitely relate to that. One of the best ways to deal with stress is to talk about it with trusted loved ones. You get quality time with your kids and they get the considerate attention of their biggest and best ally (that’s you).

It wouldn’t be a blog on Ahimsa without a note about nutrition. A study showed that kids who regularly eat family meals tend to have healthier diets overall. Family dinner becomes a kind of event. Instead of shoveling in fast food in the car, kids can dig in to healthier and more deliberate choices. It makes sense because when we cook at home, we have more control over what goes on our plates. Kids learn healthy eating habits by watching their parents. 

Family meals are great for strengthening family bonds. According to Stanford Children's Health, regular family meals improve family relationships & create a sense of belonging. Everybody can check in, share stories, & really connect with everybody else. In lots of busy houses, family dinner is the only time of day when every member of the household is actually all in the same place at the same time. Parents and kids benefit from family meals. Now, that’s good news.

As a working mom, you don’t have to tell me how tough it can be to get a family meal on the table. Between after-school activities, work stuff, and the general chaos of life, it can seem downright impossible. If you’re on board with family dinner as a concept but you’re struggling with the execution, here are some tips that work for me.

First off, meal planning. I swear by my weekly meal planner. Every Sunday, we sit down with our kids and plan out our dinners for the week. We check our schedules, see what's in the fridge, and come up with a plan. It’s a great way to get the kids involved and it saves so much mental energy during the week. Plus, it cuts down on those last-minute “what’s for dinner?” freak-outs. Those last-minute, shoulder-shrugging, I-don’t-care-what-you-eat freakouts are what lead to the most common breakdowns of our good nutrition and family togetherness. A planner minimizes them but doesn’t eliminate them completely. Progress is more important than perfection. 

Getting kids involved is another big help. My love for Montessori methods comes in handy here. Even young kids can help with the actual preparation of the meal. Little kids can wash veggies and set the table, while older children can help with chopping and measuring. It might take a little longer than just doing it yourself, but you’ll be a) teaching them valuable skills and b) making them more invested in our family meals. 

Keep it simple when necessary. If you’ve got some good ingredients that will work together for a soup or stew, throw everything in a pot, let it simmer, and dinner’s ready. Slow cooker or crock pot recipes are another life saver. Nothing beats coming home to a house that smells amazing and dinner that’s already done. And on really crazy days, there’s no shame in using pre-prepped meal kits. Most of them are still going to be healthier than fast food and may just introduce you to new recipes to try.

One last thing that’s made a big difference for us is setting a regular mealtime. It takes some juggling of schedules, but you should try to set aside the same time as a family dinner time most nights. That consistent time helps the parents plan around it and makes it feel like a non-negotiable. Family dinner can be the new brushing your teeth before bed, or making your bed in the morning: no skipping!

It doesn’t have to be perfect. Some nights, dinner might be sandwiches between soccer practice and homework. That’s okay. Some days are just going to be like that.

And hey, if you manage to have a home-cooked, sit-down family dinner even once or twice a week, you’re doing great. Every shared meal is a win.

Maybe “joy” is reaching a little too high – we might have to settle for “happy” or even “not sad.” Remember what I said about progress. Anyway, we all want those Norman Rockwell moments, and it’s still a good target to aim for. With that “perfect night” in our minds, we can make some adjustments to the sloppy summer pile-ins that family dinner often devolves to and right the ship.

First up: make a positive vibe. Electronics are forbidden from family dinner. I know, I know - it’s easier said than done. But it's worth it. We have a "no phones at the table" rule, & that includes us parents. Without screens competing for attention, we actually talk to each other. Wild concept, right?

Encouraging conversation is key. We play this game called "High-Low-Buffalo" where everyone shares their high point of the day, their low point, & something random (that's the buffalo). It gets everyone talking and you might just be amazed at what you learn about your kids' days. 

Now, here's where Montessori comes in handy: get kids involved in the whole process. Setting the table is a perfect excuse for a little learning. My littlest one is in charge of placemats & napkins, while the older ones handle plates & utensils. They even take turns being the "server" who dishes out the food. There will be spills and tears and more work for mom or dad on the back end of the night, but it gives kids a sense of ownership & responsibility.

Making mealtime fun doesn't have to be complicated. We do theme nights the tried-and-true Taco Tuesday is a big hit in our house. The kids get excited about it & it takes some of the "what's for dinner" stress off my plate. Win-win.

If your kids choose the menu sometimes, that’s another great trick. We have a rule: they have to include a protein, a veggie, & a grain. It's led to some interesting combinations, but it gets them thinking about balanced meals. Even better, they're more likely to eat what they picked out.

Storytelling during dinner is another favorite. We take turns making up stories or sharing funny memories. It keeps everyone engaged & often leads to lots of laughs. You can also play games like "I Spy" or "20 Questions" while you eat. It’s a lot more interesting than trying to ask “what did you learn today” for the thousandth time. 

As I said before, keep your expectations low. If you're expecting calm, quiet, & tidy every night, you're setting yourself up for frustration. Embrace the chaos a little. The messy, noisy dinners often end up being the ones we remember most fondly.

Here’s another clue that you’re reading an Ahimsa blog: I’m about to discuss sustainability. As good stewards of the world our kids will inherit, we need to consider the impact our choices have on the planet. So, how do we balance family meals & sustainability?

A good place to start: what are you and your kids eating off of? Our Mindful Mealtime set is durable, made for kids, & way better for the environment than disposable options, especially plastic. Also, you can get it rainbow colored. My kids love “their” dishes, and I love that I'm not constantly replacing broken ones.

But sustainability at mealtime goes beyond just the dishes. Here are some other ways we try to keep things eco-friendly:

Reusable containers are our best friends. We use them for leftovers, school lunches, you name it. It cuts down on plastic waste & saves money in the long run. We make rainbow on-the-go containers, too, if you think your kids would like their leftovers to match their dinner plates. 

Composting is another big one. Not everybody can do it, but if you can, it’s worth it. You will make less waste for the landfill and gardens love it as fertilizer. Even better, it's a great way to teach kids about where their food comes from (and where it goes). 

Speaking of gardens, I’m a big fan of buying local. Seasonal produce is a great way we try to be more sustainable. Farmers markets are a good place to get the freshest produce you’ll ever see. If you can grow your own, even better! Nothing gets kids excited about eating vegetables like watching them grow from seeds.

So yeah, balancing family meals & sustainability can feel like just one more thing to stress about, but it doesn't have to be. Start small, make changes where you can. Don’t focus on the mountain in front of you, just the next step you have to take. 

Quick recap: family meal time is better for your kids, it’s better for you, it’s better for the cohesion of the whole family, and it’s even better for the planet. Everybody wins. 

All it takes to make a big difference in your kids lives is the simple, humble, family dinner. Your mom was right – it’s the key to a happy, healthy family. If you want even more help from me, take a look at my Mealtime Guide. It’s full of menu ideas for kids of all ages, and it’s available for free.