I have good news and bad news: according to one study, picky eating is statistically uncommon, occurring in only about 13-20% of kids. The bad news is that picky eating, according to the same study, tends to stick around for a good bit of childhood. So while your house’s picky eater will probably grow out of it, and might even be a healthier adult than average, that picky eating isn’t going to disappear overnight. Even so, there are many reasons why children might be picky eaters.

One major factor is developmental stages. During certain phases of growth, kids might be more resistant to trying new foods. This is partly due to a natural tendency to be cautious about new experiences, including unfamiliar tastes and textures. Toddlers are notoriously independent, and that independence can extend to their food choices. 

Another reason could be taste sensitivity. Children have more taste buds than adults. Flavors are more intense for them. What might be a 1-2 on the spice scale to you could be like a 9 or 10 to a child. This sensitivity includes textures, too - some can be off-putting, and they reject foods that don’t “feel right” in their mouths. One of my kids has a particularly good sense of smell. While this works for her with some foods, it has made her resistant to smellier food choices. Considering I have a sensitive nose as well, I try to encourage her instead of being critical. 

Control issues could also be at play. Food is one of the few areas in their lives where children can exert control. Since we’re also teaching our kids sensible independence and self-actualization (that’s the Montessori way), it’s not surprising that they might take that independence a little too far with foods. Refusing to eat can be a way for them to assert themselves. Pressure or force can often backfire, which usually leads to more resistance.

When dealing with picky eating, keep in mind that it's not just about the food itself. By understanding all the factors at play, you can start to see picky eating in a new light and develop strategies that respect your child’s needs while also encouraging healthier eating habits. Both of those are important.

A pleasant atmosphere during meals can really change how your kid (and the parents!) feels about food. The Montessori way focuses on making mealtime calm and inviting. Keep the table neat, create an environment that helps your child concentrate on their meal, and use nice-looking dishware like one of the dishes youn find right here at Ahimsa. The Purposeful Plates look great, last a long time, and are designed by a pediatrician (me!). 

A pleasant atmosphere is also one that isn’t full of noises, lights, and apps fighting for our attention. It will be controversial if they’re not used to it, but make and enforce a no screens at the table – TVs, tablets, phones, everything. This brings everyone’s attention to the food and each other. 

A regular mealtime routine can make kids feel secure and less anxious about eating. Knowing what to expect can make a big difference. Try to have meals at the same times every day. 

Using visual aids can make a huge difference in how children perceive their meals. Colorful plates and cutlery, fun charts, or cute food arrangements can make the whole experience of eating more appealing. For example, a plate divided into sections like Ahimsa’s Mindful Mealtimes set can help kids understand what a balanced meal looks like. Offering a selection instead of a fiat deciding also gives children a sense of control. Let them choose between broccoli or carrots, or snap peas and celery, to make them more willing to eat. They chose it, right? 

Kids who help make the food they eat learn life skills that they can carry with them into adulthood. Even better, kids who help prepare meals are more likely to try new foods because they take pride in what they’ve made. Start with simple, age-appropriate tasks. Young children can wash vegetables, tear lettuce, or stir ingredients. Older kids can help with chopping (with supervision), measuring ingredients, or maybe just reading and following the recipe. When it’s appropriate, I encourage my kids to taste the ingredients while we prep meals. I will sample bites of a tomato or lettuce while making a salad, offering my kids to do the same. We talk about the colors, smells, tastes, and textures. This sampling can encourage children to try new things, new flavors.

Kids and grown ups both respond to creative presentations of food. Try making veggie faces on a pizza or arranging fruit into a rainbow. Even the simplest recipes can also be made more exciting with a little creativity. You can serve a fruit salad in a hollowed-out melon bowl, or cut sandwiches into fun shapes with cookie cutters. They are little touches but you might be surprised by how much mileage you can get.

The biggest worry parents have with picky eating is nutrition. If a picky eater is only eating specific foods that they love, like hot dogs and french fries, then there’s no way they’re getting the nutrients they need. 

One of the top tricks is to keep offering a mix of foods, even if they get turned down at first. You have to be persistent, keep it firm but with a light touch. It might take several tries for a kid to warm up to a new food. Keep the vibe positive and supportive.

Sneaky methods can also be a life saver. Blend spinach or kale into smoothies where the fruit covers up the taste. You can grate veggies like carrots or zucchini into sauces, soups, or even baked foods. Puree veggies into pasta sauce or mix tiny bits into meatballs to boost nutrition without making it super obvious. Sometimes that’s what it takes.  

Try serving new foods in different styles. If your kid hates raw carrots, maybe they’ll like them cooked or roasted. Offer foods in various forms to up the odds they'll accept them. The idea is to make these foods a regular part of their diet without turning the whole experience into a fight.

Making meal times enjoyable is important for building healthy eating habits. Don’t force or bribe your kid to eat. This will backfire more often than it works. 

Positive reinforcement works wonders. Praise your child for trying new foods, even if it's just a nibble. It still counts! Celebrate courageous kids. Trying something new is hard for everybody, but kids especially. Boost their confidence and make them more likely to try new foods next time.

Kids mimic their role models, so let them see you eat some of the healthy foods they’re rejecting. Talk about why you like certain foods and how they make you feel great. You could even tell a story about how you, too, were a picky eater who only wanted to eat peanut butter and jelly or grilled cheese, until you decided to try a red pepper instead of a green pepper and that one little difference changed your whole perspective. Feel free to use that story yourself, if you’re one of those unicorn kids who loved everything new all the time and don’t have some stories of your own (somehow I doubt that).

Remember, patience and persistence are key. Every small step you take towards making mealtimes enjoyable and nutritious is a victory for your family. By involving your child in meal preparation, presenting food in creative ways, and maintaining a positive atmosphere, you can foster healthy eating habits that will last a lifetime.

For more tips and strategies, check out my Mealtime Guide. It's filled with practical advice and inspiration to help you create nutritious, balanced, and enticing meals for your children. 

Please talk to your pediatrician if you have any concerns about you child and picky eating. It’s a common developmental issue, but you should always talk to an expert if you’re wondering what, if anything, might be going on with your house’s picky eater. I’ve had hundreds of these conversations with my patients. As a pediatrican and parent, I have all kinds of tips and tricks to give. Make sure you’re having that same conversation with your local pediatrician to hear what he/she advises.